Children with undiagnosed ADHD usually have no idea how to handle life's challenges; they only know they aren't as skilled and capable as their peers without understanding why. But the parents recognize a problem and are reach out for answers. They know something is the matter.

We Celebrate Our 2nd Anniversary and Two Years of Achievement

by Cynthia Hammer, MSW, Executive Director, Inattentive ADHD Coalition

Over the past two years, I became synonymous with the Inattentive ADHD Coalition (IAC), but that won't always be.

In 6 months, I will turn 80, and this organization needs to continue. It has important work to do.

Please donate today to celebrate what we have achieved and support what we still need to accomplish.

Him: "Okay, look. You wear glasses. How well can you see without them?"

Me: "I can't. I can see colors and general shapes, but I'm functionally useless without glasses."

Him: "Right. Without your glasses, life is just a blur that you can't really focus on. You can squint a little, and it helps you focus on something a little bit, but it takes a ton of effort and isn't terribly effective. Sound familiar? Well, Adderall are my glasses, and attention is my vision."

Parents of children with ADHD often blame themselves for their child's behavior, especially when the symptoms are problematic at home but not at school.

It is common for kids with ADHD to experience/express more emotional dysregulation and impulsive behaviors at home. This is where they feel more comfortable and often need a release after a long exhausting day at school.

A big part of neuropsychological evaluation involves diagnostic considerations. I want to give my perspective on diagnosis because it can be scary or off-putting sometimes.

Think of diagnosis as a trail marker. It designates the path one is traveling rather than a label of the person walking the path.

I like to do my own fix-it chores around the house, but I often wonder if I come out ahead.

I make so many blunders along the way to a finished job that I should have hired a professional. But when I get enthused about another job around the house, I forget my earlier missteps and mistakes and am optimistic that This Time Will Be Different.

John and Julie Gottman, renowned marriage researchers, have written a new book about how to achieve a better marriage. But, one piece of their advice, called “turning toward,” is appropriate for all relationships. People with ADHD will benefit from this advice since it is simple to understand and implement and provides a tremendous return in fostering improved relationships.

Bothered by mistakes you’ve made on your business accounts and missing deadlines at work, you turn to the internet to learn whether you have ADHD. You’re deluged by ads for online surveys, neuropsychological testing, genetic assays, EEGs and PET scans. They all tell you that they can help diagnose your condition. You wonder if you need all of this and how much it will cost.

Getting Things Done

Remember that something done is better than nothing done. If you only get 25% of a task done, then it’s further along than if you never started. It’s better to do a little bit of task rather than procrastinating. Often, when you start, you will be surprised how much you accomplish.

Housekeeping Solutions

In order to not get overwhelmed when cleaning, just tackle these five things: Trash, Laundry, Dishes, Putting things back that have a place, Put things in a pile that don’t have a place.

If you can afford it: Get a cleaning person; It takes them 3 hours to do what you do in 3 weeks. While they are there, use them as an accountability buddy and work on tasks you have been putting off, like paying bills.

Take a picture of your to-do list otherwise the first item on your to-do list will be find your to-do list!

Make a list of what you need to do and estimate how long each task will take. Build in buffers on your time estimations for distractions and breaks. Then arrange the tasks in the order you plan to do them and go to it.

More than once, I left my phone inside the fridge, in my socks drawer, or the medicine cabinet. I have left it at work and in an Uber.

I lie around doing nothing all day and procrastinate on schoolwork because of depression, but I get it done at the last minute because of my anxiety.

Two years ago, during Covid isolation, I returned to my tribe, people with ADHD. I had been away for over ten years. Many people I knew when I was actively educating people about ADHD were still in the trenches and I also have met new committed people. Today I want to celebrate them and thank them.

 By Cynthia Hammer, MSW

My son, who at age 13 was diagnosed with ADHD, lied, stole, got into fights and even broke someone’s nose. At age 15, he spent four weeks in juvenile detention and after turning 18, spent several months in jail. These were the most harrowing years of my life, yet even as I’ve written about my ADHD diagnosis, I’ve kept the details of our challenges raising our youngest son a secret for over 25 years.  

How Important Is ADHD Medication in Reducing Harm?

There are several strong arguments for including medication in ADHD treatment.

ADHD is a disorder associated with serious distress and/or impairments in living. Although, as documented below, many severe adverse outcomes have been associated with ADHD, the typical patient does not experience all, or even most, of these problems. Many patients live enjoyable and productive lives, especially if they receive treatment.

The idea of using medication to treat problems of behavior provokes deep feelings and equally strong opinions in many people. They have these mistaken opinions even though the Federal Drug Administration first approved medication for ADHD in 1957, and significant research supports the effectiveness of treating ADHD with medication.

I remember nursing a grudge against a friend who I thought didn't like me as much as she pretended. Every time my mind wasn't occupied with something, I returned to my grudge, reworking variations on my grievance, “She’s a phony. She acts so excited to see me, but then ignores me and forgets things I’ve said.” I tried to stop thinking this way. “It’s fruitless to have these thoughts. It’s a waste of time and doesn’t help. You need to move on,” yet I continued to stew.

A friend recommended a book I would enjoy reading. I don’t write down the title, thinking I will remember it. The title is a single word, Horse by Ann Patchett. For Pete’s sake, I can remember that! Then, my conscience, which acts as a guide to the rightness or wrongness of my behavior, pipes up, “You won’t remember it. You need to write it down.” Then I tell Elsie, my pet name for my conscience, “This time will be different. There’s no need for you to nag me.”

I was blithely living my life when I began to notice that some of my behaviors were the same as my son’s, who had been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. “Mmm,” I thought, “am I just like Brian?” It was a thought that got stored in the back of my brain that I would ponder every now and again.

When my supervisor at work evaluated me, she mentioned a few issues with my work habits that rang a bell—“Ding! Dong! This sounds like ADHD!” I told her, “I think I have ADHD.” She replied, “I think so, too.” She had a grandson with ADHD so she was familiar with its symptoms.

One day this past winter I came home exhausted after a full day of cross country skiing. I store my ski boots and ski clothing in the basement, but coming into the house totally worn out, I said the fatal four words, "I'll do it later." Fortunately, I caught myself and proceeded down the basement stairs to stow my gear.

How often do we say, "I'll do it later" when we really have time to do it now.

What are we really saying when we say, "I'll do it later"?